Let’s Get Real (about the cost of weddings in the Berkshires)
Author’s note: The intention of this post is NOT to shame or discourage anyone, but to inform. As a frame of reference, my own wedding (20 years ago in Virginia) was not a luxury wedding…it came in around $23k for 75 guests, so not a big number at all. But knowing what things cost in the Northeast in 2023, I think this is a very necessary conversation…
A 2017 wedding at Tanglewood in Lenox, Massachusetts. Photograph by Mark Spooner.
First of all, I want to say that I’m so grateful for the number of inquiries I receive about destination weddings in the Berkshires. It makes me so happy to know that couples are seeing my work (via Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest or whatever) and that it resonates. And I certainly don’t want those to stop…but I want to be very candid about the actual cost of most weddings in the Berkshires.
I think, for whatever reason, people planning a destination wedding in the Berkshires think that it will cost far less than what they’re finding in the city. Unfortunately, this just isn’t the case anymore. Pre-Pandemic, I used to advise my couples that they should realistically plan for a wedding here to average anywhere from $750-$1150 per guest. This “all-in” estimate was just that…one that included your planning, catering, venue, entertainment, rentals, etc. But these numbers were also directed moreso at our more mainstream venues like Tanglewood, Cranwell (now Miraval), etc. Weddings at Wheatleigh and Blantyre…and sometimes at The Mount, Stonover, etc…were highly unlikely to remain within that range.
In the year or so now since we lived through COVID, pricing across the board has increased by nearly 40%. So those original estimates just don’t hold true anymore.
I regularly receive inquiries from engaged couples who want to have 200 guests, but want to keep their budget around $60k. And even though that dollar amount is nothing to sneeze at, it’s just not realistic when the end goal is a wedding like most of the ones they’ve seen on Pinterest or Instagram. Even before the pricing increases occurred, it wasn’t unusual to have a couple show me an inspo pic of a lighting design and be shocked when I would say, “this will cost you roughly $70k.”
Where have we gotten so far off course, you might ask? I mean, there are multiple factors that come to mind. First of all, as much as we all love to scroll through Pinterest for design inspiration and recipes, we’re looking at a single snapshot of a much larger picture. We don’t necessarily know what part of the country/world that photo was taken in, if their uncle was also a lighting designer, if the venue already had those lights professionally installed, etc. In the high-end events market, we often talk (commiserate?) about the number of times we’ve had to burst someone’s bubble. In an ideal world, the couple just throws more money at it and they get what they want. But that isn’t always the case.
Secondly, we’ve all had very heated discussions about the irresponsibility of “wedding authorities” like Wedding Wire and The Knot, who publish their annual “state of weddings” reports with reckless/false information (i.e. I don’t know any reputable photographer who will work for $1000, or a caterer who can do a wedding for $6000). Maybe they’re only thinking about weddings in the middle of nowhere, or ones that take place at a banquet hall or pavilion, but they’re certainly missing the mark when it comes to weddings in the Berkshires, much less places like Boston, NYC or LA.
When I begin onboarding my clients, I go over how each category of the budget will have a wide range of (financial) possibilities. I remind them that everyone has different priorities that allow them to spend more money in those various categories. So while I’m happy to bullet out some rough estimates for “real numbers,” I also ask that you bear in mind that this is very much a listing of numbers that are relative to the types of events that I’ve been producing in the Berkshires over the last several years. And that while you can always certainly scale back on each and every category, just remember that you’re no longer talking about the types of weddings that you’re showing me as your inspiration. I wish I could go through each wedding shown on my Instagram and tell you how much they spent, but since most people want to keep that information private, here’s a rough breakdown to consider:
Venue – $14k-$25k (and many of these only allow you access to the location…meaning they don’t include tables/chairs, kitchen space, etc.)
Planner – $25k-$50k++ (are there less expensive options? Definitely. But you get what you pay for.)
Photographer – $12k-$15k (This is the lower-end range for luxury level photographers. It’s not unusual for photographers at this level to charge upwards of $60k+.)
Videographer – $8k-$25k+
Florals – $10k-$60k+
Rentals – $20k-$40k is the norm, locally. (Depends on what the venue provides and how unique you’d like your look to be.)
Catering – $200-$350++ per head
Entertainment – $8k (not good) to $50k for a great band. Even a good DJ usually starts at $10k.
Transportation – $2k-$5k if using a local company
Cake – a good designer starts at $2k…be ready to pay $12-$20/slice
Lighting – $10k+++ (so many variables here)
These are just the main categories. Don’t forget you might need/want restroom trailers, generators, golf carts for mobility-challenged guests, photo booths, favors, fireworks, gift bags in guest rooms, etc.). Most venues will require liability insurance riders. There are vendor meals that need to be included with catering (do NOT order a sandwich tray and think that’s okay). Gratuities are encouraged… Yes, it all adds up quickly!
Are these numbers startling? Possibly. Are they accurate? Yes…again, assuming you’re not simply looking for a wedding with 50 guests in a hotel conference room/ballroom or church.
And again, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make anyone uncomfortable, but there is NOTHING more uncomfortable than signing a venue contract and then realizing you just don’t have the budget to produce the wedding of your dreams. If you do find yourself in this stressful and unfortunate situation (and shame on the venue for not gleaning more budgetary information from you upfront!), here are some ways to scale back:
Reduce your guest count (fewer rentals, food/beverage, centerpieces, shuttles, etc.)
Shop around (different rental companies offer different selections, pricing, delivery fees)
Speak with your floral designer about flowers that will give you the look you want but may be more in-season or may produce larger blooms…
Check with your venue to see if they provide any in-house services like lighting or AV/sound. Ask if they provide tables, chairs, etc.
Forego a farewell brunch, or host a welcome dessert/cocktail party instead of a huge rehearsal dinner
See what style of dinner service your caterer recommends (i.e. family style isn’t usually as cost-effective as one might think…and it isn’t nearly as elegant as a plated, served meal)
Be sure that you’re engaging a true planning professional. You will be paying more for his/her service, but you’re able to leverage their vast network of vendors and rely on them to negotiate certain contracts. They have more power to negotiate (you plan ONE event, they plan MANY) with key vendors and they know all the tricks to help you along the way.
And I guess that’s about it. Was this a fun, lighthearted post? Probably not. But it’s a long-overdue conversation about the REAL MONEY spent on destination weddings in the Berkshires. The more you know now, the less you’ll stress later.